AvengersAperture Series 3: Loki's Birthday
by GingerFloof26
Summary: When Odin cancels Loki's 4000th birthday celebration, Loki is determined to get his prank fix. His target: A small, unassuming world inhabited by diminutive equine creatures. Can GLaDOS, her Minion, Jorg, Tala, and Thor stop him from wreaking havoc in Equestria? Or will Canterlot go down like New York?


Loki woke up, yawned and smiled. Today was the big day, he had spent so much time planning this celebration-it was his birthday, his 4000th birthday. He had arranged for carefully planned pranks to happen to various diplomats, and a couple of special pranks for his brother and for Tala. Jorg had been helping with the plans lately; his education from GLaDOS was really adding a special touch to the recent pranks.

He sat up, expecting to hear the first strains of music from the mead hall, but there was nothing. He dressed and stepped out of his chambers. There were no banners, no decorations-nothing. Except his father, Odin, who was standing in the corridor.

"I was waiting for you to wake, Loki." Odin began. His tone was too serious, and a sense of dread settled on Loki. "Since the 'Tesseract Incident' we've decided it would be in poor taste to host a celebration for you. Anyway, it isn't like you haven't had four thousand birthdays already, this shouldn't be too much of a disappointment."

Loki gaped. He had spent decades planning this, in fact, he had been planning this since before his son was born. It was like a child to him, as he had put almost as much care into these plans as he had his beloved Jorg. Odin patted him on the shoulder.

"I'm glad you're taking this so well. I'll see you in the hall for breakfast then."

Loki stood in a brooding silence. Someone, somewhere would suffer for this. Years of carefully planned pranks were now wasted. He would find some unguarded world, and he would make sure that he would get his prank fix.

Meanwhile, on Midgard, a very confused Orange and Blue were arguing over where to place their next portal.

"They're so adorable since you made them into androids, too," sighed GLaDOS's Minion, watching them on the security cameras.

GLaDOS snorted in mock derision.

Tala shook her head. "You made this test chamber, Jorg?"

Jorg giggled. "Yes, mum. I wonder when they'll realize-" he broke off, tittering, not unlike his father

"Realize what?" asked Tala.

"That it's impossible to solve!" Jorg broke into gales of laughter, nearly spraying Mountain Dew out his nose. He was still nursing his ever-present Pikachu mug, which 'Auntie Gladys' was constantly loading with the sugary beverage.

Minion rolled her eyes. "I'm sure your father would be proud."

Tala gasped "Oh, that reminds me, today is his birthday! He was so looking forward to it...Let's get going, Jorg."

Loki had arrived on the poor world that was soon to meet his prankster wrath. It was a strange world, bright and colorful, and there were many sentient species. The most dominant resembled horses, or ponies. They lead simple, innocent lives, and barely dabbled with magic. They would be easy targets for his mischief. And of course, his first target would be the most important. He had already found what passed as their center of government, where two sisters ruled in a glorious magocracy.

They would be easy prey. Obscuring his presence with his more advanced magic, he slipped easily past their guards. The younger sister, Luna-though she was a creature of darkness and shadows like him-was his first victim of the greatest prank spree to ever strike the world of Equestria.

Tala and Jorg arrived in Asgard, to find the royal family, sans Loki, sitting down for a late brunch in the mead hall. Jorg ran up to Thor and gave him a hug, Thor squeezed the young half-dragon back and looked down at the gloriously wrapped present the boy was holding.

"Where's dad? I got him a present for his party..." Jorg looked around again, his face falling. Tala put a hand on his shoulder, and looked up at Thor.

"Did something happen? I thought he was hosting a big party."

Odin cleared his throat, "Many of our closest allies saw it in poor taste to host a party for the man who attacked Midgard."

Tala shook her head, "So where is he?"

Thor shrugged, "Perhaps he went back to bed. He tends to keep odd hours when you and Jorg are away."

Jorg was crestfallen. "So, no party? I'm going to go wake him up!"

As Jorg ran down the hallway, tiny wings flapping frantically, Tala took a seat at the table. "You do realise he is going to take this very, very poorly. He's been planning this for ages."

"I know," Odin said, "but, I would rather Loki have a bad day, than anger the few allies we have left."

"I hate politics." Tala muttered, picking up a pastry. "Loki has been-"

"He's not in his room!" Jorg shouted, running back into the room. "And his armor's gone!"  
Tala and Thor were on their feet immediately, chairs scattering. "We have to find him!"

Tala looked over at Thor, "Did he say anything to you?"

"No, nothing, I have no idea where he would have gone." Thor signalled for a servant, who ran off to get his cloak and helmet.

"I know who can help!" Jorg pulled out what appeared to be a Midgardian smart phone. Auntie Gladys had given it a really fancy name with the word "Aperture" in it, but all he cared was that it let him talk to her no matter what dimension he was in.

"Auntie Gladys?" he inquired, prodding at the screen.

Minion answered. "No, Jorg, Orange and Blue STILL haven't figured it out."

"Father's birthday party was canceled and I think he got mad and ran away," Jorg blurted.

Minion's face paled. "This is bad."

Jorg nodded. "Really bad."

"I'll let her know." Minion placed a hand on her chest. "Cross my heart and hope to die."

"Stick a needle in your eye?"

"Loki curse me if I lie," finished Minion, and ended the transmission.

GLaDOS was in the kitchen, happily frosting a chocolate cake and humming "Still Alive" when her minion came running in at breakneck speed. "What is so important that you have to risk your scrawny human neck to tell me about it?" she asked as the girl hunched over, hands on knees, gasping for breath. "Loki...disappeared..."

"WHAT? You mean I wasted all this time frosting a cake for him?"

"His party was canceled and apparently he stormed off. For all we know he could be filling Lisa Frank binders full of pictures of naked women and piling them all over Romney's desk."

"I suppose we'll have to use the Aperture Science Dimensional Energy Fluctuation Tracking Device-"

"Yes."

Back on Equestria, Loki was revelling in the chaos he had already caused. It had only been few brief hours of mischief m but already half of the land was in panic. He had dyed the princess's manes funny colors, he had altered the pegasus' racetrack to fly through a dragon nest, he had stolen and hidden important tomes of knowledge, caused a minor pestilence of brightly colored insects to sweep through a pastoral village, and he had found the perfect prank target: a young mare in that same town who appreciated a good laugh. She had even laughed when he had caused the cake she was carrying to explode.

It wasn't exactly what he had planned, but it was fun. But, the guards were closing in on his position in this town, so he had to move on; regardless of how much fun the local prankster was having with his carefully planned pranks.

There was a forest nearby, a dark place full of magical creatures and deep shadows. It would be a perfect place to hide, and close enough to his favorite target's home to allow him to strike out from the shadows at any time.

Jorg, Tala and Thor arrived at Aperture labs in the late afternoon. They were all dressed in their battle regalia, though Jorg's was mostly for show. Tala had brought a large ledger that the Enclave kept that detailed all known realms that possessed magic. It was very unlikely that he would go to any world that lacked the arcane, as most of his pranks revolved around magic.

Jorg sniffled and was holding onto Thor's hand tightly, "I hope dad's okay. I don't want him to have a sad day."

"It'll be alright, Jorg." Thor smiled at him as the door slid open. GLaDOS and her minion were standing in the entrance. GLaDOS seemed perturbed by something, and she was wearing a chocolate smeared apron.

"So," GLaDOS said, "Odin sees fit to deprive me of the chance to show off my cake-making skills?"

Her Minion laughed. "What she means, Jorg, is that she was looking forward to the party, too."

"What I mean," GLaDOS clarified, "Is that we are going to have to do some interdimensional traveling. And I hate interdimensional traveling. You organics really are more adaptable to such things."

"I brought a list of possible realms, GLaDOS," said Tala. "Shall we begin scanning?"

"I suppose," GLaDOS groaned, tossing her apron over her shoulder "If we really have to."

Minion wrapped her arms around the reluctant android's waist from behind, put her forehead between artificial shoulder blades, and began to push. "Yes, we have to," she said.

Jorg marvelled as his Auntie, who he knew from personal experience was extremely hard to move even with a lightening spell, allowed the puny girl to push her into the laboratory.

Somehow Minion was still glued to GLaDOS even by the time they reached the Aperture Science Dimensional Energy Fluctuation Tracking Device, and even stranger, GLaDOS didn't seem to care. It also didn't seem to interfere with the Science that had to be done. As GLaDOS ran a scan on the different realms, Minion grew bored and began trying various ways of getting the androids attention, all of which failed, but were highly entertaining for Thor and a very curious Jorg to watch. Minion started with toying with Gladdy's hair and ended up sucking on her neck. For the life of him, Jorg could not understand why someone would want to do that, unless Auntie tasted as good as the sugar she was constantly dispensing.

"Equestria." GLaDOS finally declared, then demanded "What do you want?" of her Minion. But Minion was suddenly bouncing around as though SHE were the ten-year-old on Mountain Dew.

"Equestria? You mean, like, PONIES!?" she shrieked.

GLaDOS looked annoyed. "You've been toying with me for over an hour and suddenly you want to know about diminutive horses? FINE. The inhabitants are mostly equine in nature, yes. Now quit bouncing around and-"

"FLUTTERSHY!" cried Minion, apparently enraptured by the thought.

"SHUT UP," demanded GLaDOS, snatching the girl mid-bounce and snogging her solidly. "The enrichment center would like to inform you that one does not toy with vital testing apparatuses for over an hour without receiving payback."

The girl drooped limply in the construct's arms, apparently overwhelmed by bliss. "Payback and ponies. BEST. DAY. EVER." she sighed happily.

Jorg made retching noises, "Ugh! Kissing? Nasty!" he looked up at his uncle, "Uncle Thor, kissing is gross."

Thor laughed at the boy, "I think, when you are older, that you will be as fond of kissing as I am."

"You like it?" Jorg squeaked in dismay and continued in disgust, "Ugh, I'm glad dad doesn't like kissing."

Thor roared with laughter, "I'm quite sure that he does, in fact, like kissing, Jorgmander. In fact, I think he likes kissing your mother."

"GROSS!" Jorg shouted, throwing his hands in the air, and subsequently drenching GLaDOS and her Minion in Mountain Dew.

"Anyway, Thor, will you stop shattering my son's perception of reality?" Tala asked, and then added in a hushed whisper, "The less he knows, the less likely he is to look into rooms that, ahem, he shouldn't EVER see." Thor gaped for a stunned moment, also wishing that his perception of his younger brother's love life wasn't just as shattered. Tala continued, at her regular volume, "We should get going to this-Equestria. We need to find Loki before he can hurt anyone, or get himself hurt." She looked back at Thor, shaking her head, "This could be Midgard all over again."

Loki was sitting in what passed for a cell in the miserable excuse that Ponyville had for a jail. He could have left hours ago if it hadn't been for the six mares who now guarded the cell. They had overpowered him in the forest, took his crown and his armor-leaving him with nothing more than a horse blanket and his skivvies-then thrown him in the cell. His favorite pranking victim was among them, though, they all seemed terrified by his appearance as they had never seen a human before.

So he sat in the corner, glad he couldn't feel the cold, and silently planned a prank that would not only be enjoyable, but would drive these six apart long enough for him to escape.

In the meantime, GLaDOS was grousing about the Mountain Dew in her hair. And clothes. And in her Minion's hair and clothing.

Jorg's eyes began to water. "I'm sorry Auntie Gladys!" he wailed. Minion, who seemed to be sugar-high from whatever she had nommed off of Auntie's neck giggled and said, "It's okay, Jorg. We'll just have to take showers before we can go anywhere."

"But that will take forever!" cried Jorg. Minion was not known as "The Shower Whore" for nothing.

Tala casually suggested, "You know, you COULD save some time-and water- and shower together."

Minion's face turned as red as her hair but Gladys seemed unperturbed by the thought. In fact, just as minion opened her mouth to protest, GLaDOS clapped a hand over it and began dragging the girl away towards the nearest Vertical Hydration Unit.

As soon as the door had shut and the water began running, Jorg noticed the Reassembly Machine whir to life. In what seemed to be no time at all, a robotic alicorn was pieced together inside it's confines and then spat out into the control room. It opened yellow optics, pawed at the ground experimentally, and then asked in an all too familiar voice, "Well, what do you think?"

Jorg starred in childish wonder, "By Odin's great grey beard! Auntie Gladys, You're a pony!" He squeaked in excitement. "I wanna be a pony! Can you make me into a pony?"

"Not without transferring your personality to a core first, which is a long and painful process during which a LOT can go wrong." Caroline shuddered within GLaDOS at the sudden rush of memories. "I could never do that to you."

Suddenly the water shut off in the nearby bathroom and Minion raced out wearing only a towel. "I think she overheated!" she gasped. "She just suddenly went limp and..." Minion noticed the alicorn analogue standing near Jorg.  
"You like?" asked GLaDOS.

"WHY," demanded minion, "did you go to all the trouble of having me scrub you down in there if you were just going to build yourself another body?"

The alicorn smirked. "For Science."

Fuming, Minion returned to the bathroom to change.

Jorg looked at GLaDOS-icorn with a furrowed brow and his tongue stuck out in concentration. "I have an idea!" Under his breath- and while keeping a careful eye on his mother, who would stop him before he could cast the spell- he spoke the words of magic that could transform all of the humans (or dragons) in the area into ponies. His mother was too busy talking to uncle Thor to stop him, and when the final word of magic was spoken, there was a burst of light, and Jorg felt his hands become clawed feet, and his whole body rearrange.

He ran to the nearest shiny metal thing on the wall to look at his appearance. On all fours, with clawed feet, a long neck and head crowned with a pair of back swept horns and his wings were folded on his back, he now vaguely resembled a pony, like Auntie Gladys. His mother was of the strange shape, an odd amalgamation of dragon and pony; and uncle Thor was a large draft horse, wearing complex armor and his cape, but no wings or horns.

"Look Auntie Gladys! I'm a pony! And so is everyone else, look, mom and uncle Thor even have funny marks-see, mom has the Guild of Hunter's mark," he pointed at Tala's new cutie mark, a saber overlaying a scroll, "and Thor has Mjolnir on his flank!"

An almighty shriek emerged from the bathroom as minion noticed her reflection in the mirror. Once again she came charging out and came to a screeching halt before her villain. "You have MAGIC now? God help us all..."

GLaD-icorn chuckled. "I wish. Little Jorgmander here did it. Perhaps he should start working for Hasbro."

Minion-sus flapped her wings, mildly enraged , which caused her to suddenly find herself off the ground. Her crimson mane and tail suddenly obscured her vision, but Jorg, was there to keep her flying in check, the tiny blue-green pony dragon steadying her. "Come on, it's easy to fly."

Tala laughed, her more draconic features were a bit menacing, copper scales gleamed over her entire body, and her massive wings carried her up to Minion in a single beat. "Jorg, love, you've never flown a day in your life." She helped Minion back down to the ground, "Be more careful with wings, love, they're treacherous things." She looked back up at Jorg, who was doing barrel rolls in the air, "Get back down here, and put everyone back to their normal shapes, Jorgmander, you know your Uncle doesn't like being shapeshifted."

"No! Not until we get dad back!" Jorg shouted, nearly crashing into a wall. Tala sighed, and shook her head.

"Sorry, Thor, but I think we may have to do it in these bodies. It would take more time for me to undo his spell than for us to find Loki. And, well, you may like being a horse for a while."

Thor looked over the assembled group, still uncomfortable in his new body. But, he appreciated the detail Jorg had gone into. Minion was now a pale blue, but with fiery mane and tail; Tala, well, she was what he had always expected her to look like, all gleaming copper and massive wings with a ridge of black spines down her back and long lashing tail, but the mirth was still in her green-gold eyes; and, well, Thor really couldn't argue with his own gleaming gold coat, and thick mane and tail. Also, somehow, he found that he could lift Mjolnir with his mouth. He sighed, "alright, I guess I can deal with being bespelled for now. Just ask next time, Jorgmander."

Loki looked down at his Companion Cube boxers and sighed. He was starting to regret this. He was willing to bet GLaDOS hadn't forgotten his birthday. The android was crazy about cake and would use any excuse to make one. He'd heard she'd even used people's murders as an excuse for cake...until she'd run across Minion and company. He wondered where they all were...

The answer was "In the Everfree forest." Although the rest of the party could (theoretically) fly, Thor could not, and Tala and Jorg refused to leave him on the ground. Minion also proclaimed a desire to stay earthbound, so GLaDOS had no choice but to do the same. They trooped through the woods with Minion spooking at every noise and Jorg becoming increasingly impatient until they came upon a hut decorated with strange looking masks.

Minion and Jorg began singing the "Evil Enchantress" song, which none of the others could make heads or tails of, until a zebra poked her head out of the door and called,

"Travelers, you have come far.  
Zecora asks just who you are?"

Jorg bounded up happily and answered, "I'm Jorg, Royal Bastard of Asgard. Have you seen my dad?"

"Young Jorg, I do not know your land  
Nor can I help you find your dad.  
But Ponyville is up ahead!  
Perhaps they can help you instead?"

"Which way?" asked Tala

"Just keep going in your line,  
You'll get to Ponyville in time."

"Thank you!" called Minion as they trooped away.

"That was strange," remarked Thor. "Why did she only speak in rhymes?"

"I forget," said Minion, "But she's really a nice person- er, pony. Well versed in the art of potion-making."

Loki had finally given up hope of making it out of his cell with his sanity intact. The six ponies outside his cell had started singing a song about kindness and consideration of other's feelings- and it had gone on for some time now. He hugged his knees to his chest and broke down into silent, frustrated tears- he had just wanted a birthday party.

Following the path through the Everfree forest, Jorg and company finally broke through into glorious sunshine, and caught their first sight of Ponyville. It had likely seen better days, and the hallmarks of a trickster God's presence were everywhere. Ponies were cleaning up frosting and wreckage, bandaging burns and hurt pride, and many ponies were apologizing for things they did when not themselves.

Thor shook his head, "Well, looks like we found where Loki has been. Perhaps we should-"

Thor was cut off by a tall, white alicorn with a flowing rainbow mane, and a moustache drawn on her upper lip in permanent marker. "You, strangers, what business do you have in Ponyville? I don't recognise you and you have the same magic as the creature who was terrorizing my kingdom!"

"Dad terr-" he was cut off by Tala's talons over his muzzle.

"Ahhh, yes... we've been searching for our companion for some time." She gave Thor the 'I'm lying to keep us out of trouble, so don't correct me' look. "You see, he was cursed with a monstrous appearance by a dark unicorn. He was driven mad by the change, and so he went on a rampage. We tried to stop us, but even in his altered form he is still a powerful mage. Were you able to subdue him? I fear he was driven so mad by the magic that he may have forgotten himself." Tala grinned, perhaps a little more toothily than necessary.

Thor spoke up, "He is my brother, and I dearly hope he is well and that we can cure his affliction."

Celestia raised an eyebrow, "You're telling me that the creature that destroyed half of Ponyville in  
one day, and pranked the entire royal court, is your brother?"

"He's adopted." Thor muttered, sheepishly. "The point is, we care about him and want to see him safe!"

"Please, your Highness," Minion begged, silently praying that GLaDOS would withhold any sarcastic comments. An idea had struck her. "He comes from the North. The far North. There has been much tragedy there until you sent your ambassadors, and we wish only to relieve you of this problem since you have been so kind to us."

Celestia mused, "So, he was a victim of Sombra's curse? That sounds plausible, but you all don't look like crystal ponies to me."

At this point GLaDOS spoke up. "There are many creatures in the North besides crystal ponies, your Highness. We were driven from the refuge of the Crystal Kingdom by Sombra's curse, and simply wish to return there with our companion, once his curse has been removed."

"Very well," Celestia replied. "Your...companion...is currently being held in the local jail, guarded by the same ambassadors I sent to the North. Did you get the chance to speak to them personally?"

"No, but we heard of Twilight's bravery and sacrifice in finding the crystal heart," replied GLaDOS. Minion nearly fainted. Not only was her villain a Brony, but she was using words like "bravery" and "sacrifice" with apparent sincerity. "Apparently a young dragon was involved as well? The dragon-kin in our party would be delighted to meet him," continued the robo-corn.

By this time they had nearly reached the jailhouse. The citizens of Ponyville were stunned by the strange procession being led by their Princess. Derpy dropped her entire load of mail, knocking off Cranky's toupee, but he was too astonished by the visitors to notice. Berry Punch staggered out of her house, only to do an epic jaw-drop and declare, "I must be sober! I'm seeing things!" Lyra was begging to be let into the jail because she had heard rumors of a human being held captive inside, but she was pushed aside by the party.

They were greeted by an overly cheery yet oddly catchy tune about harmony and friendship, being sung by the mane six. Looking completely out of place and completely nekkid, save for his skivvies, was Loki, sitting with watering eyes in a corner of the cell.

He looked up at the new comers, and sobbed, "What, more of you come to gape at the human? I said I was sorry, now please-just let me go!"

Jorg ran to the bars of the cell and put his paws through the bars, "Dad! You're alright!"  
"Dad? I haven't - Jorg, is that you?" Loki blinked in astonishment and wiped the tears from his eyes. He looked around the assembled group, "Thor, you came too?"

Thor trotted over to the bars, "Of course I did. No matter what shape we are in, I am still your brother."

Loki sniffled, the feeling of love and friendship overwhelming him. Tala cleared her throat, "Perhaps Jorg ought to, ahhh, lift the curse you are under, my love-"

Spike suddenly cut in, mind racing with thoughts of Rarity, "A pony and a dragon in love?"

Tala ignored him pointedly, "-so we can continue on our journey."

Loki walked to the bars of the cell, patting Jorg on the head, "I don't remember being put under a curse, what are-" he stopped quickly, seeing the 'I'm lying to keep us out of trouble, so don't correct me' look. "Oh, right, that would be for the best. My memory is still a bit hazy from the spell, perhaps once the curse is lifted things will be clearer." He shot Tala the 'What the hell are you up to and will it get me killed' look.

Jorg concentrated, his twin horns glowing with magic. In a burst of green light, Loki was transformed into a green unicorn. Still wearing his companion cube boxers (now strangely deformed) he looked around, and his mind made the important connection that Tala's look had implied.

"Ahh, feels good to have by hooves back again." He muttered, not very enthusiastically. "Don't need these anymore," he grabbed the boxers with his teeth and ripped them off, he felt better now.

There was a collective cheer from the mass of pony-dom in the room. "Can we have your party now, dad?" asked Jorg.

"Flaming lemons! I forgot to bring the cake!" exclaimed GLaDOS.

The mare that had been Loki's primary target suddenly leaped into the air with a gasp. "Did you say PARTY?" she asked.

"Well, yes. It just so happens to be my birthday. And my father..." Tears collected in Loki's eyes again.

"Grandpa Odin said we couldn't have a party because-" began Jorg

"Because of his curse," Tala interjected.

"Oh my, that sounds horrible..." another mare said in a voice barely above a whisper.

"Whale, Ah think we know what we awl haveta do..." declared yet another mare in a southern drawl.

The six nodded and went running off to their various destinations.

One helpful transition later, Loki was being nudged, blindfolded, toward the Apple family's barn's doors by Thor. Once within, the blindfold was removed, but Loki could only see total darkness. "What is this madness, brother?" Loki demanded, only to be temporarily blinded as the lights for a sweet rave party began flashing around him. "SURPRISE!" yelled the collective mass of ponies, all adorned with glowsticks. Rarity trotted up, levitating a spectacular jeweled cloak and crown before her. "Darling, you simply CAN'T celebrate your birthday dressed like THAT. Here, try these on. I was INSPIRED by the clothing you were wearing during your...*ahem!* curse...and I thought this would be appropriate."

Jorg held up a mirror as the cloak and crown settled themselves on Loki's body, and Loki grinned devilishly at his own reflection. "Most appropriate, madam. I don't believe I know your name?"

"Rarity." She flashed a dazzling smile

"Well, Rarity, would you care for a dance?"

"Actually, she's taken at the moment," Spike put in, wearing a dapper top hat with multicolored glowing stripes and a glow-ring "monocle."

"Far be it from me to separate a dragon from his intended partner. Have fun, you two."

Suddenly there was a burst of confetti and an enormous cake was borne into the room by Thor and Big Mac while the crowd burst into "Happy Birthday," rendered into dubstep by Vinyl Scratch's DJing skills. Loki had to climb a ladder just to blow out the candles, which, to Pinkie's delight, kept re-lighting themselves after Loki's every attempt.

Once the candles had been subdued by Twilight's magic (or simply melted into puddles), everyone tucked into the cake. "This is delicious!" Loki exclaimed. "How did you know that chocolate mint was my favorite flavor?" Pinkie gave a nod to GLaDOS. "Gladys here told me. You know, she sure is super at baking cakes. We could use her at Sugarcube Corner!"

GLaDOS ducked her head shyly. "This was a triumph." she admitted


End file.
